Simon Mwewa Lane Attacked by Angry Marketeers “I Was Just Trying to Clean the Street, Not My Forehead!”
In what can only be described as a real-life episode of “Zuba meets Komboni House”, social media influencer and self-declared Komboni clean-up marshal, Chitambala Mwewa, famously known as Simon Mwewa Lane, found himself caught in a dramatic scuffle with furious marketeers trading illegally.
According to a video posted on his Facebook page (link: Simon’s Cry for Reinforcement), Mr Mwewa appeared dazed and bleeding from the forehead and not because of poor skincare, but because a flying object (possibly a tomato, rock, or both) decided to disagree with his patriotism.
“I have been attacked by marketeers!” he shouted, holding his phone in one hand and courage in the other. “Council police, send backup! This is not komboni warfare I signed up for!”
Sources say the marketeers, who were stationed illegally like uninvited nshima at a wedding, didn’t take kindly to Simon’s presence. “He just came like mwine mushi, filming and talking ati ‘this is illegal!’ Before we knew it, stones started flying like it’s a political by-election,” said one tomato vendor while still clutching her chitenge.
One eyewitness claimed the stoning session was so intense it would make even Goliath duck. “He tried to speak sense, but ba mayo were already in warrior mode ifyafula ku chibolya!”
Meanwhile, Zambians on social media had mixed reactions:
One user wrote: “Next time go with komboni armour helmet, bulletproof vest, and a council badge from 1964.”
Another added: “Ba Simon, we love your work but sometimes pa komboni, just greet and keep moving – filming ninshi?”
Calls are being made for increased security in markets and for influencers to bring backup… or at least duck faster.
As for Simon? “I’m okay,” he later posted. “But ba Council, next time mule tuma na ba komboni Avengers, not just me and my camera!”
Ba Mwewa go back there and challenge them again. If it’s bad it’s bad!